knightscrest:

my greatest dream is to swim in an ocean of orange soda. it is a fanta sea.

agirlinasweater:

brunetteinaunionjack:

queerinius:

heavymedal:

you are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos

This is the most hopeful thing I’ve ever read.

what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos

then tomorrow is nacho lucky day

katara:

earthnation:

earthnation:

what did one cell say to his sister cell that stepped on his toe

mitosis

i want to die 

isurvivedthekobayashimaru:

I was at walmart the other day, and I was sitting on a bench waiting for my mom to pay, and I was braiding my hair because that’s something I do when I’m bored, and this dude walks by and says, “hey baby, what else can you do with your hands?” I gave him my most polite smile and said in the sweetest way possible, “strangle you.”

And I think I actually scared him because his eyes got kind of wide and he just walked away.

rneerkat:

everythingworkslove:

rneerkat:

rneerkat:

which greek god loved animals the most 

zoos

Get out

well i can see somebody doesnt love greek mythology

morphingly:

brightredkettle:

are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes

with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks